AMERICA LAUNCHES PROBE TO INVESTIGATE ALLEGED ‘WORLD HISTORY’

In response to idle Euro-trash gossip and Towel-head propaganda, NASA has launched the 14 billion dollar WHSSG, or World History Seeker and Sample Gatherer. Modeled after the Mars Surveyor, the probe will orbit Earth, scanning the surface for pockets of ‘history.’ Should history be discovered, the WHSSG is equipped to blow it up, so as to sample the resulting fine debris.

“We’re particularly interested in some formations known as ‘Rome,’” said a NASA spokesman. “Plenty of them foreign types with their funny-talk have said we Americans could learn a lot from Rome. We intend to do just that. After reducing Rome to a cloud of dust, we’ll be in an excellent position to scan its chemical make-up with WHSSG’s mass spectrometer.”

Other areas scheduled for investigative demolition: Egypt, Britain, and the Yucatan peninsula.