Bush thaws relations with NAACP

In his first address as president to the NAACP, Bush on Thursday acknowledged, “blacks still exist in contemporary America.”

The president spoke positively about African Americans’ “undeniable existence,” stating clearly that the GOP would no longer assume otherwise. He received a standing ovation when he stated: “My administration recognizes the extant nature of blacks. Your corporeal status will not be denied.”

“But these are just words,” continued Bush. “I intend to act, by asking congress for 20 billion.” He didn’t elaborate on how the funds would be spent, but the audience, ecstatic with their official new reality, hardly noticed.