PIRATES WEEKLY - Iran Clarifies it's Nuclear Position

IRAN CLARIFIES ITS NUCLEAR POSITION

Still denying the existence of an Iranian nuclear weapons program, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Monday clarified his nation’s stance on nuclear power.

“We want nuclear energy,” he said, “not nuclear weapons. If our country is to join others in the 21^st century, we need clean, efficient power to generate electricity, to run our cities, our schools. To power farms and factories and hospitals. And bio-weapons facilities.”

“Bio-weaponry is the future,” he continued. “Nuclear bombs are a relic of the Cold War. To destroy the infidels, we need recombinant viruses and weaponized bacteria. Only with these Swords of Allah can the Jihad prevail.”

Ahmadinejad went on to delineate how nuclear power would lead, “not to terrorists with nukes, but terrorists with super-plagues.”

“Clearly then, the position of the UN is flawed,” he said, “and my country’s nuclear program should be allowed to continue.”

France was immediately convinced. Heated negotiations continue.




	IRAN CLARIFIES ITS NUCLEAR POSITION Still denying the existence of an Iranian nuclear weapons program, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Monday clarified his nation’s stance on nuclear power. “We want nuclear energy,” he said, “not nuclear weapons. If our country is to join others in the 21^st century, we need clean, efficient power to generate electricity, to run our cities, our schools. To power farms and factories and hospitals. And bio-weapons facilities.” “Bio-weaponry is the future,” he continued. “Nuclear bombs are a relic of the Cold War. To destroy the infidels, we need recombinant viruses and weaponized bacteria. Only with these Swords of Allah can the Jihad prevail.” Ahmadinejad went on to delineate how nuclear power would lead, “not to terrorists with nukes, but terrorists with super-plagues.” “Clearly then, the position of the UN is flawed,” he said, “and my country’s nuclear program should be allowed to continue.” France was immediately convinced. Heated negotiations continue.