PIRATES WEEKLY - IRAN PLANS TO EXPAND NUCLEAR ACTIVITES

IRAN PLANS TO EXPAND NUCLEAR ACTIVITES

TEHRAN, Iran (PW) – Irans top nuclear negotiator said Sunday that Iran will expand it’s nuclear activities, in defiance of a U.N. Security Council resolution giving the Islamic Republic until August 31^st to curtail it’s nuclear activities.

“We reject this resolution,” said Iran’s top nuclear negotiator, Ali Larijani, “We will expand nuclear activities where required.”

After calling U.N. sanctions illegal, and denying the use of Scitzofusion Anti-matter for a Galactic Death Ray, Ali Larijani stated that Iran was a “Sovereign Nation,” And therefore had “the right to engage in nuclear activities” of “all kinds.”

Showing further defiance of the global community, Ali Larijani then listed some of the nuclear activities that Iran had planed.

First on the list was Bobbing for apples in Heavy water, followed by Fuel Rod Football and electrostatic Javelin competitions, a potato sack race with the burlap woven of decaying Radioisotopes, and the 2^nd annual all you can eat Lithium -6 Yakh Dar Behesht timed against radionuclide decay.

Ali Larjani said a full activities list for the Nuclear Activities BBQ and Picnic would be posted on Iran’s family friendly website, www.killthejews.com, and that everyone was invited to “C’mon on down.”




	IRAN PLANS TO EXPAND NUCLEAR ACTIVITES TEHRAN, Iran (PW) – Irans top nuclear negotiator said Sunday that Iran will expand it’s nuclear activities, in defiance of a U.N. Security Council resolution giving the Islamic Republic until August 31^st to curtail it’s nuclear activities. “We reject this resolution,” said Iran’s top nuclear negotiator, Ali Larijani, “We will expand nuclear activities where required.” After calling U.N. sanctions illegal, and denying the use of Scitzofusion Anti-matter for a Galactic Death Ray, Ali Larijani stated that Iran was a “Sovereign Nation,” And therefore had “the right to engage in nuclear activities” of “all kinds.” Showing further defiance of the global community, Ali Larijani then listed some of the nuclear activities that Iran had planed. First on the list was Bobbing for apples in Heavy water, followed by Fuel Rod Football and electrostatic Javelin competitions, a potato sack race with the burlap woven of decaying Radioisotopes, and the 2^nd annual all you can eat Lithium -6 Yakh Dar Behesht timed against radionuclide decay. Ali Larjani said a full activities list for the Nuclear Activities BBQ and Picnic would be posted on Iran’s family friendly website, www.killthejews.com, and that everyone was invited to “C’mon on down.”