MORE TEEN VIOLENCE BLAMED ON VIDEO GAMES; PARENTAL WATCH GROUPS SPEAK OUT

Sandusky, Ohio – Parental watchdog group PAPPY (Parents against Parents Parenting Youths) held a press conference Friday to announce their plans “To immediately take on the insidious Video Game industry that continues to brainwash our kids with violence.”

This announcement comes in the wake of yet another tragedy blamed on the increasing violence in Video Games. Michael Flatbush, 17, and accomplice Ted “Freedom” Dudak, 16, walked into a high school dressed as heavily tattooed Spartan warriors. They were wearing Togas, brandishing sword-like chain weapons, and screaming for vengeance to the Gods of Olympus. Several Students were injured, and the Library’s Greek Mythology section destroyed.

“I thought it was a school project” Said Jerry Flatbush, Michaels father when he was questioned about his son. The 47-year-old businessman said he had noticed that his son was dressing in cloths common in 750 BC and dragging in dead hookers by their hair, but didn’t want to interfere with his sons’ private affairs. 

The two young boys had recently been playing Sony’s action title, “God of war,” in which players are thrust into the role of a Spartan warrior betrayed by the Gods and vowing revenge. Once in custody they blamed their violent rampage on the video game.

Susan Sarandon, PAPPY spokeswoman and mother of Tim Robbins, points out that the recent episode is eerily reminiscent of the Kid Icarus incident of 1986, when thousands of stupid kids fell to their deaths. “Parents can’t be expected to take a vested interest in what their children are doing," Said Mrs. Sarandon, “ You can’t always be sure that dead hookers and togas are signs of a problem. Parents cannot be held responsible for their children’s actions as long as the Electronic Entertainment industry continues to sell violent video games directly to kids. Parents can’t be expected to take the miniscule fraction of time and interest to look at the large ESRB ratings on every video game that make it extremely easy for any responsible human being to see which video games are appropriate for each age group.“

“I am supposed to ask my son what he does with the money I give him? Am I supposed to take notice of the content of a Video Game? Am I supposed to ask my son every night where he’s going at 1 in the morning with a sawed off shotgun?” Asked distraught Parent Monika Johanmangermanian towards the end of the PAPPY press conference.  She took a hit off her crack pipe, adding “It’s the video games fault.” She then left the conference quickly citing the need to wait in line at the well fare office under three different names.

PAPPY plans to launch a new investigation in a recent string of theft/rape/homicides that may be linked to Mario Party 5.