NEW LEGISLATION WILL FORCE REPEAT SEX OFFENDERS TO STAY WITHIN LOCAL LIMITS

Joel Patrick Courtney, who admittedly abducted, raped and murdered Brooke Wilberger, is awaiting trial for several crimes. What is more disturbing is that he has been a repeatedly convicted sex offender for almost twenty years, committing his first sex crime before Brooke Wilberger had even been born. It is cases like these, all across America, that has legislators taking a new look, at an old problem. With a corrupt and broken justice system that functions about as well as Britney Spears diamond studded Gucci Diaphragm that is holier than the Dahli fucken Lama, but obviously doesn’t have the same sense of right doing, since she keeps pushing out these genetically inferior celebrity white trash bastards who won’t know the value of a dollar and hard days work if 25 cents was stabled to their pampered little asses like a coupon for two pound of ground round at Stater Brothers, lawmakers must find a way that American neighborhoods deal with repeat sex offenders.

A new law may have the answer. Even if it doesn’t have the answer, most likely it will still be passed into law, cause the Justice System rolls that way. Fuck what you want or what’s good for society, between holy rolling gun happy conservatives who want to gas everyone except a few swing voters locked in a closet underneath Texas ranch houses, to the corrupt, misrepresented ACLU who’s real aim is not to further the civil liberties of Americans, but to unionize angry liberals to serve the groups own maligned and iniquitous agenda, The American Justice system is flailing about like Riddelin junkie with Tourettes impaled on a Draconian pike.

So here’s the situation, according to documents attached the proposed bill:

Problem 1: Sex offenders consistently use pleas bargaining, insanity pleas, and other legal loopholes to either cut short the sentence or avoid prosecution. Many never even see the inside of a prison, and if they do, are usually paroled early. Almost all sex offenders are convicted of the same crime on more than one occasion.

Problem 2: Once registered, paroled or released sex offenders find themselves unwelcome in neighborhoods, and often forced to move. This puts an unfair burden not only on the neighborhoods, but the adjacent neighborhoods as well. In addition, families fear for the safety of their children.

The bill offers a solution: Sex offenders shall no longer be arrested, because what’s the point? From now on every town, province and shire shall have ONE registered sex offender that lives in a Lake of Fire, which will be designated by City Planners. Once every quarter, upon the solstices and equinoxes there shall be a virgin sacrifice, whose sex corresponds to the registered sexual preference of the Sex Offender who doth dwell in the Lake of fire. The virgins will be lawfully chosen by a deed of fortune and destiny. Their Names shall be drawn from a lot and the shall give up their life for the greater good of once peaceful American neighborhoods such as Urland, Nebraska (where the law is being tested), This act, supposedly will satisfy the powers that dwell under ground and the spirits that attend thereto. The family of the sacrificial victim will be free of obligations, taxations, levies, and imposts for a period of five years. The offender or “Virmithrax” as the legislation hither to designates him, shall not reign his terror upon the town or province, in so long as his dark thirst is quenched each quarter. If a sacrifice is not made, or if the blacksmiths daughter who has posed as a boy thus escaping the lottery puts on a dress and is not immediately sacrificed, Virmithrax shall then have full leave to reign terror upon the village with fire, smoke and ash. The bill also allows that policy makers can deem certain members of the community unfit for sacrifice, and designate them Elspeth Ulfilas filla Regis. There is also a provisional clause, known as the Galen Bradwardyn clause, that allows for a small measure of mischief by an interloper, and allowing him a certain measure of time to slay the offender. If the offender is slain, the town shall remain in freedom from sexual predatation until such time as there is one sex offender in every town, and provincial placement of  a subsequent Virmithrax is necessary. The bill will be presented soon, but many such as Congressman Tyrain, R-NE expect Ulrich the Magnificent to filibuster.