New Research shows “Global warming still actually not really real.”

Just days after Exxon Mobil Corp was outed for using “Tobacco Company like tactics to mislead the public by discrediting the science behind Global Warming” new research has come to light that proves inconclusively that Global Warming is not actually, really real”

The new, totally unbiased research firm, The Christian Petroleum Stockholders Association, says they have reviewed the science, and understand that it involves something known as data. However, CPSA Spokesman, Televangelist and Exxon Mobil Director of Propaganda Pat Robertson is quick to point out that “Data, can not always be accepted as compilations of measurements, statistics, testimony and observations. Sometimes, data is merely facts presented as evidence, when in fact no evidential data is complied. Therefore, data can rarely be trusted as anything more than informed actualities. And we know that actualities are not really fact based.”

“Science can be misleading, “ Said Robertson on Friday, “As it is created under bias and is wholly subject to imaginative interpretation.” The Christian Petroleum Stockholders Association plans to release their findings this week, that will show clearly that global warming is not “actually a real reality.” 

Science Advocates call the whole thing a conspiracy. “Exxon Mobil, The CPSA, all of them are trying make you believe there is actually a heated debate on Global Warming. There isn’t.” Said Biologist and Conservationist Stephen Dawking, “The Scientific community is mostly in agreement here. It’s getting fucking hot.”

But Pat Robertson points out “most scientists are socialists pushing a godless socialist faggot agenda, that is one of hatred toward fellow man.” A self-proclaimed man of peace, Robertson is still convinced that Jesus wasn’t a socialist. When Pirates Weekly asked if he thought his working for God, Exxon and CPSA were in conflict, he had us taken to Harrods. Then we were flagged. Now we can conclusively say that Global Warming is not actually, really real.

In related news; the strong will continue to prey on the weak.