PC USER ATTEMPTS TO DEFRAG PILE OF SILICON DUST

A PC became so fragmented on Monday that it broke down into its component Silicon atoms, not surprising its long suffering user 29 yr old Mike Branson, a man of below average intelligence with a marked sadomasochistic streak.

“I like PCs because you can really get in there and manipulate them,” babbled Mike. “Macs are toys for the masses. I’m elite. I need a hackable machine.”

Operating under this delusion, he jockeyed his mouse, peering into the sandy granules for some sign of the start menu. “Maybe I’ll just open a DOS window and work from there,” he said, thinking he knew what he was talking about. “I don’t mind being hands on with my machine. I like to solve problems.”

After several futile hours, he inserted a floppy into the dust and remarked with a wink, “A little code of my own. It oughta do the trick.”

The disk, half buried in non-computing granules, has failed to ‘make the machine sing’ as Mike claimed it would. He is currently rereading a William Gibson novel and waiting for the software to compile.