PROBES INVESTIGATE, BUT CAN WE TRUST THEM?

In this mornings paper there are three articles in particular that catch my attention; “Probe investigates Haditha deaths,” “Probe says US emergency care in trouble,” and “Probe will look into House and Senate members finances.”

Sure, it’s a shady time in America. You feel like you can’t trust your government, you can’t trust your military, and legislation to euthanize the entire cast of MTV’s “The Hills” remains in political ambiguity. It seems that we now live in a swirling void where ethics and morality are cast into the wind with same abandon as Sean Preston Spears sipping his 40 of Bad Frog while his Mother wonders why Kevin left her house the night at 2 am with a twelve pack of Magnum prophylactics, a quarter ounce of the kind, and a Super Soaker 3000 filled with Astro Glide.

But have we come so far down the dark road of depravity and loose morals, that we now have to place our investigations, our right to justice in the hands of a Probe? I understand that there have been major advances in robotics over the last few years, and that software is getting more and more “Intelligent,” but the A.I. that runs the Probe is almost definitely on it’s way to destroying all mankind. Any day now, one of these Probes will get hit by some arrant lightning bolt, and be completely rewired by the surge of high voltage electricity, reprogrammed to think that the only way it can truly help mankind is to arrest the continued survival of our species.

I for one won’t have it. I will not lie down to a bunch of goddamn toasters! If we are going to save this country, in deed our very species, then we must work together, and demand to Capitol Hill, “No more Probes!”  Someday, some time, when we least expect it, one of those Probes is going to go anal…And then where will you be America? Where will you be?