Some Blonde with Big Tits Dies 

Coinciding with an historic N. Korean Nuclear Treaty, escalating tensions with Iran, and dazzling explorations of the Saturn system, some blonde with large jugs has died. As Iraq spirals toward oblivion and scientists prepare to divine the origins of matter with the Large Hadron Collider, speculation is rife: was big-tits murdered, or was it suicide? 

The autopsy report--which came out around the same time as news of a Darfur ceasefire--was inconclusive, though it confirmed that the blonde had large fun-bags.  

The woman's death, which coincided with 155,000 others on Feb. 8, 2007, has sparked a media frenzy. Her major accomplishment--wedding a billionaire--occurred in the summer of '94, as the Rwandan genocide raged. A recent story about some other blonde--I think she shaved her head--has managed to eclipse the one with bodacious ta-ta's.