Americans Teens Face New Danger
Even as America's futile corporate sponsored war on drugs continues on under the guise of vigilance against evil, America's teenagers have continuously found new recreational activities that ride the fine line between what is legal and illegal, what is right and what allows the continued control of international drug monopolies.

Dextromethorphan, also known as "Dex" or "Skittles" has been in the news recently as the most popular recreational bad habit plaguing americas young people. But riding on the cherry flavored Cough suppressants heals (The Pirates recommend Vicks Formula 44*) of this growing epidemic is a far darker past time which parents are still turing a blind eye towards.

"I just watched the first time," teenager Sarah Kenouse told Pirates Weekly reporter Jim "The Jimster" Johnson who by the way has been acquitted of all charges of child endangerment and sexual misconduct. A freshman at John Mark Carr High-school, Sarah had been pressured by her friends to join in what kids commonly refer to as "Sidin'."

"Once I got that hang of it," continued Sarah, "I really got it into it. I mean, it's not like I'm getting high or drinking and having sex behind the Circle K, I mean, like, they're only ethnic Albanians."

Sadly, Sarah's story and her detached sense of morality are not uncommon. Thousands of kids across the Nation are engaging in recreational genocide, a past time many analysts say could have deadly consequences.

"It doesn't matter how there doing it," says cultural anthropologist Beth Gilmore, "and sure, I was young once, and I understand that it's fun for a while. But it's still genocide. Eventually you need more. And where can you go from causing the mass extinction of entire genetic group? A total protonic reversal? That's just what we need, Kids running about crossing the streams."

Darren McCalister committed his first genocide at the age of 11. "My mom and Dad were fighting all the time, and you know, there were some Tutsi cockroaches that lived down the street," recalled McCalister, referring to the genocide made popular by Don Cheadle. Darren has since been born again in the love of Jesus Christ and uses his faith to teach kids about the dangers of Genocide. "I think God put me on that path so that I could help others," Says Darren before an appearance on Trinity Broadcasting Network. "I mean, the Jews and Cambodians are going to hell anyway so we don't have to kill them now."

But the carnage continues as the american family system breaks down, and kids continue to "Bust a Geno on the D-L. and kick it OG Pol Pot style."