U.N. Bird Flu Chief: Expect More Cases

Jakarta, Indonesia
"The World should expect more cases of Bird Flu," Said U.N. Bird Flu Chief at a press conference on Monday which no one attended but Skylar, Dana and Britney as part of their college rock "were going to save the world" bullshit phase. To stress the importance of his message, the Bird Flu Chief, also known as "Master_Chief11607" on the HALO 3 Beta, repeated the fact they were expecting several more cases of bird flu.

DOCK 49, Port Newark
"Yeah, we got the friggin cases right here." Reports Michael Jibraldi, 47, a veteran Port Manager and avid seashell collector. "We can't even decide what the friggin hell were supposed to do with them." He continues, waving a hairy arm in the direction of Warehouse 15.

Outside the warehouse one can see that cases upon cases of Bird Flu have been stacked precariously on top of one another. None have a delivery address attached, and their bill of laden is missing crucial information.

"I don't know how we even received these friggin things, look at this." He presents the shipping documents which seem to be filled out in something resembling a hybrid of cuneiform and sexually abused childrens finger painting. But clearly at the bottom, is the signature 11607.

With his work done for the day, Jibraldi and I crack open a case of this Bird Flu, as if you didn't already see where I was going with this. Sure enough, there were 24 cans of Bird Flu, still cold and frosty. We popped them open and sat back enjoying the hearty amber of the Bird Flu Stout Ale.
Later, and 12 bird flus in, I contacted Master_Chief11607 during a particularly hellish fragging on the HALO 3 "High Ground" map. He confirmed that "Bird Flu" while technically a threat, was more of a scare tactic to help drive global consumerism and intellectual subjugation. I fragged him for good measure. PWND by Spartan Laser -- Biatch!