Gettin’ By’ Dubbed World’s Worst Video Game By Experts. Capcom Makes Serious Mistake

Burnout. Laziness. Greed. Whatever the excuse for the deployment of what’s being called the worst video game of all time, it’s hard to believe that the culprit is Capcom, producer of classics such as Street Fighter and Grand Theft Auto, and a major industry player.

“It’s a travesty,” says Armund Hansen of Electronic Gaming Monthly. “That this game could be released points to a serious—possibly medical—problem in the upper echelon of the corporation.”

In the game, players compete to remain in a state of technical existence, pursuing such aims as basic nutriment, water, power, beer, seeking out sensory data worthy of attention, having something to talk about, and minimal social contact.Unlike other Sim games, there’s no possibility for advancement because of the way the game is engineered.

“You start off in a hole, and you end up in a hole,” says one gamer. “17 bucks, a shitty apartment with rent due in 17 days,  no car, and your electricity has already been cut. The first level is literally a black screen. I had to stumble around in the dark until I located a candle, but I can’t find a way to light it.”

The game’s central character—Todd—has just enough skills to get by, but no more. Todd’s resume (it can be read via flashlight— save the batteries) indicates that he can work a hand truck and has customer service experience. A special code unlocks a tepid interest in Internet pornography, but it’s an interest that can’t be satisfied due to Todd’s financial condition. The penalty for unlocking this feature is a reduction in lifeforce, a statistic which is set to negative two at the start of the game.

“The creation and maintenance of Todd’s ‘empire’ involves saving up to buy semi-gloss wall paint and repositioning a twin bed and a small chair,” says Hansen. “You own one CD—the ‘Titanic’ soundtrack—and no means to play it. Incredibly, this makes your character sad, so do not interact with the CD if you  by some inconceivable means care about the outcome of this terrible, terrible game.”

If you do manage to secure employment, the bulk of the game involves barely paying various bills, getting the occasional haircut, and drinking beer. Paying the bills on time will raise your lifeforce. But drinking beer, as well as not drinking beer, will both lower it. Consequently, there is no way to secure the energy or motivation needed to accrue more capital or opportunities.

“The game is pointless,” Hansen says.