The pirates have spent enough time late at night trolling the cam chats for underage teens to know that it's not always easy to start up a conversation, even with your junk hanging out. But after hours of in-depth research we have discovered that flopping your wonderful cash and prizes right up against your web cam is actually not the sure-fire way to start a meaningful, in-depth conversation that might lead to some perfunctory boob action. Sure promises of a digital Glastonbury mouthful can be appealing to some, but nothing says talk to me like a graphic t-shirt designed specially to engender interest in your particular area or areas of expertise. An "Ask Me" tee or hoodie is proven to be ten times more effective than frantically twirling your bangers and mash about like it was some sort of Big Jim Whirligig. Why risk knocking the twins around when you can wear an Ask Me t-shirt that sparks the interest of those around you. No one's saying you can't bring out Huey Lewis and The News for a reunion tour, but you should wear a Pirates Weekly "Ask Me" shirt while doing it. Start a conversation, not just a pinch and tickle. Our shirts work well at parties, social functions, and in the RW. If you ever leave the house.
Maybe when you run out of Lubriderm.